Family Run at The Music Run by AIA 2017

The Music Run by AIA returns for the 3rd year at Sentosa, Singapore and this year the atmosphere at the run was bigger and better!

Just like the past years, the venue for the Music Run by AIA was held at Sentosa island. Runners received complimentary entry via the monorail from Vivo City and it’s really the most convenient way to get there by public transport.

When we alighted at the Beach Station, we were welcomed by upbeat tempos and music from the Music Run village where runners could be seen streaming in for the pre-run activities.

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Primary Two Diary – 30 minutes revision + recommended list of assessment books

I’ll like to think I’m a pretty chill mum when it comes to Sophie’s studies. However, all alarm bells went off after she entered Primary Two when I had well-meaning friends prepping me for the huge jump in academics from Primary Two to Three.

Even her teachers reiterated the same message at our first PTM after Term 1 where they shared about the added demands towards the end of Primary 2 and even touched on streaming. I was sweating inside and thought to myself, the pressure is getting real.

As a parent, it can be a struggle to stand your ground and not succumb to societal pressure when everyone else seems to be sending their child for tuition or enrichment for every single subject to get ahead. I know that if I followed suit, I’ll just be giving Sophie unnecessary stress stemming from my insecurities.

When Mummy plays teacher

So the next best thing I did was to be more “hardworking” and coach Sophie on my own. I call it my 2nd job after my official job.

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Rebooting my life with a birthday retreat

With every birthday, I feel the need to get away from it all and have a quiet retreat.  A sure sign of aging or maybe just getting more consciously in tune with myself where I look forward to recharge my body, mind and soul. Though I may be approaching 40, I’ll like to think I have many more years ahead of me.

Alexis being the ever sweet hubby took leave on my birthday and booked us a massage at Elements Wellness which comes with the private use of an onsen. Yes, a couple onsen so I don’t have to go butt naked on my hatch day with other ladies. 

According to their website, they claimed that an onsen therapy had anti-aging and detoxification effect thanks to the ionized water used. While I’m skeptical of these claims, I can however testify that it worked wonders for stress relief and eased our bodies of the aches from spending long hours in front of the computer and getting us prepped for a massage that follows.

The afternoon of pampering was a relaxing experience and I even fell asleep as the masseuses did their magic and skillfully kneaded away all my aches and pain where I left feeling absolutely invigorated and refreshed. 

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Living by design, not by default

There’s something about an impending birthday that always gets me in a contemplative and pensive mood. Ever since I’ve landed on the wrong side of 30, birthdays are no longer a date I look forward to with as much anticipation.

I joked that Sophie is now the only one in our home who looks forward to birthdays and I’m glad there’s still someone who’s reminding me of my upcoming birthday.

I have a tendency to be more introspective than usual as I inch towards my birthday, which is a fairly common phenomenon for many too I’m sure.

The main theme of my reflection was about life.

My life.
More specifically where I am in life and where I want to be in life.

Hitting the pause button in life

Having these moments of reflection is sort of my way to hit the pause button and take stock of life because it’s just so easy to get sucked up by life.

A recent conversation with a girlfriend got me thinking about how so many of us are just drifting through life day by day, feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

But more often than not, we’ve thrown in the towel and resigned ourselves to the unending demands of life. We wonder when we can ever get off the perpetual cycle of mothering duties, work, up keeping of the home where the end appears so far from sight.

I know I feel like this at times and it’s so frustrating because there must be certainly more than this in life.

The life where we live by default is far from what many of us picture ourselves. Yet it happens, because we feel we can’t fight it and simply drift along the path of least resistance.

Living by design, not by default

The sails that we’ve set up determines where we end up ultimately. But just imagine, that with just a slight re calibration to our sails, we can change the course and land in a very different place.

But before getting there, we need clarity of where we want to go and how to get there.

 You are going to go through life either by design or by default. ~ Rick Warren

I’m done with living by default and intend to live by design. One where I wake up with intention and be driven by purpose that is so crystal clear so I don’t end up chasing after things that takes me off course. 

One where I know what I was designed and fashioned for.

So for now, I’ll remind myself to 

Be courageous
Be bold
Be unafraid

And that’s birthday wish for my 37-year-old self. 

Failing to be a patient mum, again

When it comes to parenting, there are a thousand and one things that can potentially throw me into an abyss of mum’s guilt. Not spending enough time with Sophie, not being able to be a parent volunteer like her friend’s mummy who’s a SAHM, and the worse may be separation during the school holidays …

While my left brain reasons that all these feeling of guilt does nothing to make me a better mum, and I’ll be  much happier if I don’t dwell on them. On the contrary, some of them present areas of improvement for me to be better if I can be honest with myself.

When mum loses it

One of my greatest struggle in motherhood is having the virtue of patience or rather the lack of it.

via GIPHY

I’m usually a calm and patient person at work, so it’s like I turn from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde when I’m home and my family has to see the worst side of me on days when I’m all stressed out and running low on energy.

Lately this problem has escalated whenever I teach Sophie on weekday evenings. Just this year, we’ve embarked on a daily 30 minutes revision, a routine inspired by Christy, who writes at Kids R Simple,  where I’ll go through Sophie’s school work, smart work (aka homework from mummy) and explain some of the homework which she needs help with. 

Let me be completely honest and tell you that it’s tough trying to to keep my temper in check when I see shabby work with nonchalant handwriting that resembles cat scratches. Most days, I let it slide but when it happens one time too many I get very annoyed and question where’s that spirit of excellence which we always talk about.

But the one that makes me boil is when Sophie gives me a blank expression or worse, the 3 dreaded words, “I don’t know”,  when I ask her a question. 

Parenting books would suggest that I take a deep breath and count to 10 to diffuse the heat that’s bubbling within. But my emotion gets the better of me and I erupt like a volcano where hurtful words get rained down hurting Sophie with word that burns and hurts…

 

Words and hearts should be handled with care. For words when spoken and hearts are broken are the hardest things to repair.

I feel the wrath in my words.

I see it’s effect when tears roll down Sophie’s face as she tries hard to compose herself.

In an instant, I feel crushed for not controlling my temper better.

My behavior is far from what a mum is supposed to be. How can I possibly be her role model when I haven’t got it all together?

Taking steps to be a more patient mum

One thing I’ve learnt as a mum is that you’ve got to learn to take stock of your life. As I begin to dig deeper into why I was having all these outbursts, it was clear I was placing too many expectations on her which stressed both of us out.

One thing that I’ve been hearing from friends is how there’s going to be a jump from Primary 2 and 3 and if unprepared for it, a child may struggle. Although I had the best intentions to guide Sophie myself without sending her for tuition or enrichment, my anxieties stemmed from a place of fear and insecurities that made me less tolerant of her mistakes. I saw how it made her less willing to try and was fearful of giving the wrong answers and getting an earful from me…

This was the opposite of what I was trying to encourage, that is to be unfazed by challenges and always give her best.

“Be the parent today that you want your kids to remember tomorrow.”

Thankfully, I’ve sowed much into Sophie’s life and constantly filled her love tank for her to recognise that my words were said in a moment of heat. Her forgiveness allowed me to move on past my failings as a quick tempered mum to being a more patient mum, one day at a time.

We have been slowly making progress where there were no raised voices, no tears last weekend and learning was much more productive and might I even add, fun.

Is being a more patient parent on top of your wish list? Take steps towards it and don’t give up. Being patient is both hard work and heart work but the fruits of it will be worth it.

If you enjoyed this post, you may like these posts where I share my heart about parenting.

 

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