A few weeks ago, I texted a friend and announced that I had crossed my 5 year mark with my current employer this month. In spite of the challenges and frustrations I was facing at work, I told her that it was also an illuminating journey as I finally realised a very important truth.
As much as we all want to land a job where we can do what we love and are fervently passionate about, you can love what you do.
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.- Steve Jobs
I believe that when we started our careers, we all had great ambitions to do what we love. After all, if you’re going to be spending most of your waking hours working, you might as well follow your heart and do what you enjoy.
However in my case, I was still unsure of what my life calling was when I graduated and I have a feeling I’m far from being alone. My first job was a marketing role in a bank where I had my first foray in insurance and investments as I picked up the marketing ropes. It wasn’t all exciting or interesting work, in fact, some bits were dreary, repetitive and even mundane but it was all necessary for me to fully appreciate what I did.
And now after working more than 15 years, I’ve learnt that the happiest people are those who love what they do.
As soon as my daughter hears the jingle of my keys and the clicking of my heel as I walk home, an overly enthusiastic voice emerges, Mummmmmy!!! I’m greeted with high pitched laughter as she bounces up and down like a bunny who just had red bull.
It’s a very zealous welcome no doubt, but her eagerness makes me nervous. I can never fathom where Sophie gets her boundless energy from every single day, because by the time I knock off, I’m just looking forward to get home, kick off my heels and collapse on the sofa. But Sophie has other plans on her mind.
“Mummy, I’m playing school with my babies (an affectionate term for her soft toys) today. Can you be my assistant teacher?”
“My friends are at the playground now. Can you take me down so I can join them?”
“I just borrowed a new book from the library, lets read it.”
Whenever she asks me to do something with her the moment I step home, my first response is often, “No, I’m tired and I want to rest.”
I know that sounds horribly mean but mama also needs a mental break you know. The kind of break that dads often enjoy when they zone out with their eyes glue to their mobile phone, computer or TV (pick one).
Sure, I love Sophie very much and would love to hear all about her day, who she sat and ate with at recess, funny stories that happened in class, the new titles she borrowed from the school library. But to put in extra effort to play or to go to the playground is quite another story.
“Why do you always say no when I ask you to play with me? I waited for you all day…”
And that’s when the working mummy’s guilt hits me like a tidal wave. If you’re wondering, mummy’s guilt never quite goes away even when your child gets older because you’ll always feel a pang of guilt for missing out something in their lives.
So to redeem myself, I surprise her with a Yes. Not everyday, but some days and it’s enough to keep her happy. And oh how her eyes light up and her love tank gets filled when I say the magic word, Yes. And I’ve come to realise that when yes is said genuinely, not the halfhearted, lets get this over and done with, patronizing kind of attitude, I have to admit that the experience is usually fun for both of us.
Saying Yes
So these are 5 areas that Sophie wants me to say yes to.
When she asks me to play with her
When she asks me to read to her (you’ll be surprised that they still enjoy be read to at 7)
When she wants me to tuck her to bed
When she wants me to monkey around with her
When she wants me to be crazy (oh yes, she’s a little wild one)
I think I might just think twice about point 5 for now…
When we say yes, we are opening an opportunity to make connection with our kids.
And I need to remind myself that saying yes does not mean that I’m bending backwards for her. I say yes more often now so I know that even if I have to say no sometimes, Sophie will be more understanding because she’s assured and her love tank is filled by the many times I said yes to.
And look how much joy and happiness it gives her when I turn a no to yes.
Bubbling with happiness
A game of badminton before dinner
This post was inspired after watching this TEDTalks video by Shonda Rhimes, the incredible titan behind Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder, and who I suspects never ever sleeps. She made a bold move to say yes to everything for a year.
So the next time your child asks you to play or read with them, what’s your response gonna be? I hope it’s going to be a yes.
If saying yes is too big a step, then how about starting with, Why Not.
Enjoyed reading this post? Do like my Facebook page to get more parenting posts updates. You can also follow me on Twitter (@Susankoh) or Instagram (@ajugglingmom) for parenting, travel and family friendly activity and learning posts.
With Sophie in Primary 2 this year, I decided to put in more effort to teach her English writing while she’s in lower primary. Unlike what most people assume, being an avid reader does not automatically make one a good writer. Though I would argue that it certainly helps to lay a good foundation for writing.
While there are many enrichment centres in Singapore that focuses on writing, I decided to take on a more hands on approach to teach her myself. After all, as a marketer and blogger, I know first-hand that writing has to come from a place of passion if you want to produce a good piece of writing that connects with your readers. Personally, it’s also a way for me to spend time with Sophie as I have to intentionally set aside time to coach her and it’s a way of sharing with her what I do at work and blog about.
As I was surfing for techniques on how to teach writing, one thing that struck me was how we often fail to show our kids what good writing look like. It’s easy to fall into the trap to pepper one’s writing with bombastic words with lots of cheemanology terms, thinking that it makes ones’ composition more impressive. However, a colourful composition should first and foremost have rich content and substance, otherwise it will simply be passed off as all fluff with no stuff.
Previously, I thought that model compositions were a horrible idea. After all, what good is it for students to regurgitate every single word they memorised just because it was well written leaving them with no room to exercise their creativity?
But now I see how they can be a useful guide especially when kids are just starting to write compositions as we could all do with some reference and guidance at the beginning to see how a well written composition can be attention grabbing.
English writing study guides
Here are some study guides that I’m using with Sophie to work on her writing and they are both published by Casco.
English study guides by Casco
One uses picture composition and introduces new phrases with explanation and examples.
Another focuses on the 5 senses to write sensational phrases that stimulates all their senses while painting a vivid storyline for the readers.
Writing with the 5 senses
In the 2nd book, there are also exercises for building up their vocabulary where students learn how to swap common words with powerful words.
Replacing general terms with descriptive expressions
A method I’m using to improve Sophie’s writing is to go through what she wrote and point out areas that she can improve by replacing general terms with more descriptive expressions that engages her senses.
So instead of, the little girl cried when she lost her mummy.
It can be written as, when the little girl realised that she was lost in the shopping mall, tears began to roll down her cheeks and she sobbed uncontrollably.
Doesn’t that give you the reader a more vivid description of what’s happening to the characters in the story?
Story telling is an art
Writing or as what I like to call it, story telling, is indeed an art. And beyond just learning to write well to ace her papers, I hope that along the way Sophie will learn and discover how words can be a powerful medium to put forth our thoughts into words, to improve our communication with others and to express our thoughts in a clear and coherent manner where others can understand easily.
Hope these tips have been helpful and do let me know if you’ve any resources on writing to share too.
Here are some useful links on learning that you may be keen to read too.
Chinese New Year is just round the corner and that means I get another excuse to wear matching dresses with Sophie. I mean that’s exactly why I had a daughter in the first place no?
I know it’s going to be a matter of years before my little girl tells me it’s not cool to be seen in the same dress as her. But for now, Sophie will just have to indulge in mummy’s fashion choice for her.
But there should be no reason why she’s complaining this year because she had a hand in picking these dresses which I have been gushing about them to everyone on Instagram and Facebook and really it’s not hard to see why.
Kate Resort Cheongsam by The Missing Piece
I’m so in love with this piece, the Kate Resort Cheongsam in red checkered print by The Missing Piece. Unlike most cheongams which are nice to look at but a pain to wear because of our hot and humid weather, this piece is an absolute breeze.
It has a flare skirt which is not only more flattering but also easier to move about or chase the kids! Plus this red checkered print is so versatile and I can definitely see myself wearing it on regular days to work too.
Here’s Sophie putting it to the easy breezy dress test.
Another piece that I adore is this whimsical print cheongsam.
It has a pastel colour combination with prints of little children and birds which is oh so kawaii! The dresses for mummies are no longer available but you can still get them in cheongsam tops which can even double up as nursing tops.
And the final piece is one that I can’t wait to wear.
Nothing spells femininity like lace and this lace cheongsam piece ticks all the boxes from sophistication to feminine and even glamorous. I like it’s unique jade side button detail which adds a classic charm which is subtle and elegant without going too overboard.
The dress has a slight stretch to it so it gives a flattering silhouette, something that I don’t mind having 🙂
If you’re looking for more twinning outfits ideas for Chinese New Year, do check out my other post here
Alexis birthday often goes unmentioned on my blog because he doesn’t like to get reminded that he’s getting older no matter what I tell him about men aging like fine wine. But since I took him somewhere fancy last year to celebrate his birthday, I have to make sure this goes on the blog so he’ll remember that he’s not the only one who can pull off birthday surprises. And the venue I chose, Salt Grill and Sky Bar at Ion Orchard for a sky high treat.
Located on the 55th floor of Ion, the Salt Grill and Sky Bar makes a choice location for gastronomic celebrations with a view, even with kids in tow. I was initially hesitant to have Sophie join us for lunch because the restaurant didn’t give me the impression that they were family-friendly and welcome kids. In fact, I hardly came across any blogs that did a review on a family dining experience too. But after I did my research on their website, I was delighted to find out that they have a kids menu. So yeah, Sophie gets to join in Daddy’s birthday celebration with us!
While I heard that the night scenery is breath taking, we opted for lunch because how romantic can it get when you have your daughter along, plus they serve set lunch at S$49 ++.
To ensure we secure a window seat by the restaurant, I made an advance reservation and am so glad I did because the bird’s eye view from above was simply magnificent.
Enjoying an unparalleled view at Salt Grill and Sky Bar
The birthday boy!
We were promptly ushered to our table once we arrived at the restaurant and after we had our orders taken, we enjoyed some chips and bread with olive oil and dukkah.
Sophie making herself a chip sandwich there
The kids menu was pretty simple with just 4 options (S$25 each), and one of them was spaghetti bolognese which Sophie ordered.
For our entree, Alexis ordered the ‘glass’ Sydney crab omelette in miso mustard broth while I had the seared scallop accompanied by cauliflower puree in XO sauce, broccolini, topped with pork crackling.
I enjoyed every mouthful of this as the scallops were seared to perfection and the flavours were so rich and delightful.
Alexis dish was quite the opposite as the omelette was so light and fluffy. A simple yet well executed dish.
For our main course, Alexis choice was pan-roasted Snapper with roasted eggplant in “Sydney “spice, coconut and pickled ginger. To be honest, it didn’t sound that exciting to me but I stand corrected as I tried to get him to share his dish with me.
I had the kurobuta pork grilled loin with cabbage a and market greens, topped with crispy skin and roasted pear. Since pork loin has less fat, I found it a little too dry though taste wise it was still a winner.
To end our meal, we had dessert and chose the orange sherbet with berries. I usually avoid ordering anything with orange but this had a nice balance of citrus tangy sweetness and I was hoping for more.
In between our meal, we tried to look for key landmarks in Singapore and even observed how the rain clouds shifted from one part of the island and slowly had the building enveloped in heavy rain as the grey clouds loomed over us. What a sight and it was the perfect opportunity for a teachable moment.
While Alexis’s birthday celebration was not as romantic as I envisioned with our little lightblub, we sure had a good time with her company. Her funny antics like here where she insisted on having a piece of bread in the mouth for the photo had us rolling our eyes at her after that but I know she’s secretly happy to do silly things when we’re not looking.
After you’re done your meal, don’t forget to walk up to the 56th floor where you can see another view from the restaurant as well.
I told Alexis that we should come back another time for dinner, and this time without Sophie. Let’s hope our little lightbulb didn’t hear that and gives us a night off from our parenting duties to have more couple time 🙂
Salt Grill and Sky Bar
2 Orchard Turn, #55-01 & #56-01 ION Orchard, 238801
Tel: +65 65925118
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaltGrillSkybar/
Hi, I’m Susan from Singapore. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my juggling journey as I switch gears from a full-time working mum to a newly minted stay-home mum to my girl, Sophie.
As a juggling mum, I hope to share resources on how mums can juggle the many roles they play while living life to the fullest.
