Just before Sophie started school in Primary One, a few well meaning friends reassured me that Sophie will do just fine coping academically in school given that she has laid a good foundation during her childcare days.
Instead, the first year of Primary school will be all about making adjustments to a new school environment with new teachers and friends, waking up early (yes before the sun even rises). Learning how to be responsible for her own things from her personal belongings to her own learning (think weekly spelling, ting xie and even show and tell). And of course, there’s this new arena of making friends, learning to fend for herself and how to deal with bullies.
On that note, you may have seen my outraged Facebook post last Saturday where I blew up top after Sophie was accused of being a bully and was a bully victim herself. I know, what are the odds right and I swear I got extra sensitive every time I heard the word, bully.
What do you do when your child is bullied?
I’m well aware that there’s two school of thoughts when it comes to stepping in when our kids get bullied. One camp may be all for getting the child to stand up for themselves and to resolve the matter themselves as we parents watch from the sidelines.
The other is of course to jump in to your child’s defense, help them resolve the matter and try to restrain yourself from punching the bully in the face. (just kidding on the last part)
What happened was one of Sophie’s classmates took her newly purchased pen on the pretext of exchanging it with her since she had a similar pen. However, her friend didn’t keep to her end of the bargain and always forgot to bring her pen as promise.
After trying to get it back time and time again, the classmate gave excuses after excuses and soon it became apparent that she had no intention to exchange the pen or even return it when she finally told Sophie that she lost it.
Despite Sophie’s many attempts to get her money back since the pen is gone, this classmate avoided her like plague and would walk the other way when she sees Sophie walking towards her. Finally I got the teacher to intervene as it was clear her classmate was trying to get away with it.
I know I sound like one of those dreadful parents who keeps the teachers busy over petty matters but the child must know that what she did is wrong. Anyway, after 3 weeks, Sophie finally got her $1.30 back and her friend even returned her pen. And guess what, Sophie told me that her friend asked if she could keep the pen cap, which is the part with the jewel, and my big-hearted girl said yes.
When I asked Sophie why she agreed since it was the jewel that first drew her to covet the pen so much, she said that her friend already returned her the money to her, so to have the pen back is a bonus.
I know it doesn’t make sense to me at all but the first thing I responded was, “You are such a good friend, Sophie and I’m so proud of you.” And I meant it with all my heart even though the alarms in my head were ringing and I wished she was slightly more street smart to know when she gets taken advantage of.
Well, this is how her jewel pen looks now… or should I say her multi-coloured pen minus the jewel.
But this is good enough for Sophie and I’ve much to learn from her on being contented in the little things or the bonuses in life that comes my way, as she so aptly puts it.
There’s actually more drama behind this pen episode as well as the other incident where Sophie was wrongfully maligned and accused as a bully by her classmate’s mum, but I shall leave the details out and hopefully this serves as a reminder for her to choose her friends wisely.
Not the best way to learn it via the hard way, but at least the matter got resolved and Sophie has put it behind her 🙂
Primary One Diary
- Onward to Primary One – Orientation Day
- Ready for Primary School- Girl’s Bedroom Makeover
- Resources for Chinese Oral
- English Composition Writing for Primary One