Just before Sophie started school in Primary One, a few well meaning friends reassured me that Sophie will do just fine coping academically in school given that she has laid a good foundation during her childcare days.
Instead, the first year of Primary school will be all about making adjustments to a new school environment with new teachers and friends, waking up early (yes before the sun even rises). Learning how to be responsible for her own things from her personal belongings to her own learning (think weekly spelling, ting xie and even show and tell). And of course, there’s this new arena of making friends, learning to fend for herself and how to deal with bullies.
On that note, you may have seen my outraged Facebook post last Saturday where I blew up top after Sophie was accused of being a bully and was a bully victim herself. I know, what are the odds right and I swear I got extra sensitive every time I heard the word, bully.
What do you do when your child is bullied?
I’m well aware that there’s two school of thoughts when it comes to stepping in when our kids get bullied. One camp may be all for getting the child to stand up for themselves and to resolve the matter themselves as we parents watch from the sidelines.
The other is of course to jump in to your child’s defense, help them resolve the matter and try to restrain yourself from punching the bully in the face. (just kidding on the last part)
What happened was one of Sophie’s classmates took her newly purchased pen on the pretext of exchanging it with her since she had a similar pen. However, her friend didn’t keep to her end of the bargain and always forgot to bring her pen as promise.
After trying to get it back time and time again, the classmate gave excuses after excuses and soon it became apparent that she had no intention to exchange the pen or even return it when she finally told Sophie that she lost it.
Despite Sophie’s many attempts to get her money back since the pen is gone, this classmate avoided her like plague and would walk the other way when she sees Sophie walking towards her. Finally I got the teacher to intervene as it was clear her classmate was trying to get away with it.
I know I sound like one of those dreadful parents who keeps the teachers busy over petty matters but the child must know that what she did is wrong. Anyway, after 3 weeks, Sophie finally got her $1.30 back and her friend even returned her pen. And guess what, Sophie told me that her friend asked if she could keep the pen cap, which is the part with the jewel, and my big-hearted girl said yes.
When I asked Sophie why she agreed since it was the jewel that first drew her to covet the pen so much, she said that her friend already returned her the money to her, so to have the pen back is a bonus.
I know it doesn’t make sense to me at all but the first thing I responded was, “You are such a good friend, Sophie and I’m so proud of you.” And I meant it with all my heart even though the alarms in my head were ringing and I wished she was slightly more street smart to know when she gets taken advantage of.
Well, this is how her jewel pen looks now… or should I say her multi-coloured pen minus the jewel.
But this is good enough for Sophie and I’ve much to learn from her on being contented in the little things or the bonuses in life that comes my way, as she so aptly puts it.
There’s actually more drama behind this pen episode as well as the other incident where Sophie was wrongfully maligned and accused as a bully by her classmate’s mum, but I shall leave the details out and hopefully this serves as a reminder for her to choose her friends wisely.
Not the best way to learn it via the hard way, but at least the matter got resolved and Sophie has put it behind her 🙂
Primary One Diary
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Tagged: primary one, primary school
I hate to get maligned, much less to have my kid be wrongly accused too. Sorry to hear Sophie had to go through this in the early days of her p1 journey.. hope it doesn’t put her off school! But she’s such a big-hearted and kind girl, I’m sure she would have put this behind her already.
Big hugs to you too mama for the stressful time..
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
She told me that her classmate returned the jewel pen cap to her today and I also got her to return the money to her friend since she got her pen in the end. And after this whole episode, Sophie even shared her snacks with her at recess. Gotta love her generous heart!
Oh dear… it’s tough to have to navigate these situations… I have been on both sides of this where one of my kids was bullied and the other accused of being a bully. And all that happened in kindy!
I gotta admit that this was all new to me as she only had a handful of classmates in the CC whom she grew up with and they know each other pretty well. Well hopefully, she’s gotten wiser after this incident too.
I would have just gotten my girl a new pen because I’m lazy to fight that way.. but that wont be good for the other kid who will just learn that bullying is right. Anyway, glad everything is ok with Sophie! It is indeed a lesson she will learn about choosing the right friends!
I was tempted to do that and also not get the teacher to intervene. Anyway the matter has been resolved and it was a lesson she needed to learn.
Such incidents are usually more magnified then we adults think. Many a times the kids would quickly patch up and move on. But good lessons for both parties to learn. Hope the two have kissed and made up! 🙂
The “friends” issue is one of the hardest to manage in my humble opinion. Dumpling was accused of taking money from a classmate when it was a misunderstanding. That mum whats app me and after some to and fro, the hubs and I decided to let the teacher investigate and intervene too.
I think it is really sweet and heartwarming that Sophie has such a big heart. You must be really really proud of her. I would be and I am, without even meeting her more than 5 times in person. 🙂
Just curious, y does Sophia needs to bring a fancy pen to school as my understanding P1 are all using pencil? i think the school has advised parents not to let their children bring unnecessary or expensive stationary to school, as it will promote envious eye or even stealing.. which i have to agree..
It’s a pen that a few of her classmates bought from the school bookshop that why she also wanted to have it. I did tell her that she didn’t need the pen too and there was some drama before she got it too. Well the last I checked, the school bookshop stopped selling them already and she keeps the pen at home now.