Last week, there was a video from Motherly circulating on my Facebook feed. It must have resonated with lots of mums as it went crazy viral with mums sharing it and tagging their husbands. Maybe you’re one of them too.
The main message was a reminder to dads that this messy and crazy life with little babies and kids wouldn’t be forever. That as parents, you’ll not always feel tired, worn out and sleep deprived… eventually. The video ended with
Before them, there was us.
After them, there’ll always be us.
Watching that video brought back a flood of memories when Sophie was a young babe. Days when hubby and I had to be a tag team and wake up to settle her when she stirred, is hungry or peed in her diaper and worse when she woke up and wanted to play. I remember wondering what we signed up for as parents and wished Sophie will quickly learn to sleep through the night so that we don’t look like pandas.
As much as I loved how hands-on my husband was, it was tough for us to find time or make time for romance. And getting in bed was all about sleeping, nothing else.
As a mum with a young kid then, I was guilty of neglecting my husband and his needs even.
I wanna hold your hand
While I expected Alexis to be understanding of how tired and drained I felt, it also dawned on me that I needed to put myself in his shoes and remember that I was first a wife before becoming a mum. Slowly, I learnt that I had to loosen my grip that was holding on tight to Sophie and started to hold Alexis’s hand more often.
It started off with putting Sophie at my parents or in laws place while we sneaked off for a meal, mostly dinner.
Then we started to go on longer dates on weekends. Maybe catching a movie, a meal or just spending time alone.
When Sophie was 2 years old, we even did what was unthinkable to many and traveled without her. At first, it was just nearby to Bangkok and then we went further to Korea and even to London for 10 days.
Now that Sophie is a lot older and can exert her opinion on our holidays, we’ve not taken a holiday without her for years and I think it’s about time we reclaimed that special time of ours where we have each other’s undivided attention.
Making time for each other
Meanwhile, let’s always make time for each other.
Lets’ go on dates, like how we used to and hold hands while we walk down the streets.
Let’s stay up late at night and open our hearts to one another where our conversation doesn’t just revolve around Sophie.
Let’s keep the romance alive and show tender loving care to each other’s needs.
Let’s appreciate each other through the daily acts of service that speaks volumes of love in action.
Let’s not wait till Sophie is older and don’t need us as much before we begin to pay attention to each other.
Let’s start to make time for what’s important to our relationship now.
READ ALSO: Dad and Mum in the picture
Other musings on relationship and marriage here
Enjoyed reading this post? Do like my Facebook page to get more relationship and marriage articles. You can also follow me on Twitter (@Susankoh) or Instagram (@ajugglingmom) for more family friendlytravel and parenting posts.