Lying on the operating theatre bed just 2 days after Christmas was the last place I imagined myself to be, but this time I was ready for the new life ahead of me.
Having to go through a second operation in the same year was something I’ve been trying to avoid this whole time. But when it became clear that an op was inevitable, there was a surprising sense of serenity and peace to go through it knowing that ultimately this decision was for the better.
Putting an End to a Season of Suffering
I thought that I would be an emotional wreak going for this surgery because unlike other ops where I had to remove fibroid growths, this time was different.
As I had already gone through 3 myomectomy ops, the only way to eradicate future fibroid growths according to my gynae is to remove the environment for them to grow – my uterus.
My gynae was very sensitive to my feelings as he knew this wasn’t an easy decision given that I’m no where near menopause coupled with the fact that I’ve been dealing with fibroid issues for the past 16 years. But Dr Chew who has a wealth of experience was very reassuring in his assessment as well as medical advice as he patiently explained the procedure along with the pros and cons of alternatives and that gave me the confidence to go ahead with it.
“Mummy, have you ever asked God why He allows you to go through all this?”
Three days before the op, I explained to Sophie that going for this surgery meant that she’ll be mummy and daddy’s only child. She cheekily replied that she cannot imagine having a baby sibling when she’s already 10 years old and that a baby will be so troublesome because we will all have sleepless nights which made us laugh.
But she paused and then asked, “Mummy, have you ever asked God why He allows you to go through so many operations?”
Before I could reply, she added, “My teachers in church says that everything happens for a reason and we simply have to trust God.”
Oh what a great reminder to have childlike faith and trust in our Heavenly Father’s plans from my daughter!
Hope for a Better Future
With this being my 7th op, I went in with the confidence knowing that God is in control and the op will put an end to my troubles as I look forward to a new me in the new year in 2019.
The Lord spoke to me so clearly with these verses from Isaiah 43:18,19.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
And that was what I resolved in my heart to do- To let go of the past and forget about the pain and disappointments and to look forward to a new season because His plans for my future will be good and far better than what I can even imagine.
After I got discharged from the hospital on New Year’s Day, I was just blown away by the amazing grace of God as I recounted all these blessings.
- A fast op that was done in 2 hours. Initially the gynae prepared me mentally that it may take up to 3, 4 hours if they had to do more repair work but it was all over before I know it.
- No need for blood transfusion even though this was on stand by in case I lost too much blood during the op.
- Being able to walk unassisted to the toilet by the 5th day post-op.
- Much faster recovery compared to my previous ops even though this time I had a vertical cut for the open op.
- Hospital fees all fully paid as my gynae is on the panel for Alexis’s company and I didn’t even require a LOG for my hospital admission.
- Understanding boss. Not mine but Alexis as he was given time off to take care of me in the hospital and a day after I was discharged even though they were already one man down in their team.
- My mum being able to stay over at my place to take care of me.
- And of course family and friends who have rallied around me during this period to pray and offer support and encouragement as I slowly get back on my feet.
Trusting in God’s Perspective
Despite losing a part of me which I’ve struggled with for so long, I’ve been in good spirits and even joked that I’ve already achieved my weight loss goal for 2019 as I was on a liquid diet for 3 days when l was in the hospital. It was a nightmare for a foodie like me and I was squealing with joy when the doctor said I can finally start on porridge.
As I look back on this whole experience, I can only say that without HOPE from God, I would have been a mess dealing with yet another surgery that I didn’t want to go through. When disappointing things come our way, it’s easy to sink into a place where we feel we’ve fallen out of God’s plans for us.
But through this, I can see that God is in the picture, and He’s with me through every single decision as I prayed that He open my eyes to reveal his purpose.
Only He has a perspective of all things, our past, present and future and He’s not certainly not done with the story of my life.
Though I don’t know how the rest of my story will unfold, one thing I’m certain and that is my future is secure in Him. My hope is in Him that his plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me and His plans are to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
In whatever circumstances, good or bad, let’s hold on to this hope and promise that God is going to use everything according to His plans and purposes as we surrender ourselves to Him.
I’m so very thankful for friends who have been so supportive and encouraging in their personal experiences dealing with hysterectomy. I know this is something that people don’t talk openly about, but I’ll be happy to share my experience if anyone out there needs advice or just needs support if you have to go through it. You are not alone.
I’ve shared my journey on these other posts and hope they bring you comfort that you are not alone.
- When healing looks different for you
- All is well – my 3rd myomectomy op in 2014
- Seeing Red
- What to expect after a fibroid operation – my second myomectomy in 2011
- To mums who thought you’ll never stay home
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