Holidaying without my baby-leaving the guilt behind

We’re going on a holiday. But this time without Sophie.

Before I had a kid, I often wondered why parents bothered to bring their babies or toddlers holidays. After all, isn’t it too indulging to bring kids when they can barley remember where they’ve gone? Then there’s the worry of their food, safety and naps which if one did without can be a dangerous path to trend down on especially when it leads to melt downs and screaming fits for the kid (and even moms)! Something most people try to avoid on holidays.

But now that I’m a mom, I eat my words.

Sophie on her first flight to Penang

We’ve brought Sophie on all our holidays since she was 10 months. Her first was a road trip to KL. Then there her maiden flight to Penang, where we stayed to the Hard Rock hotel. Then another road trip to Malacca followed by two ferry rides to Bintan, Club Med.

At Christ Church, Melaka

Although we’ve had a great time as a family, we both agree that we would enjoy ourselves 54.8% more if we didn’t have to:

  • wake up before 8am and be back in the hotel before 10pm
  • pass up on chances to eat street food , usually fried, oily and so not child friendly
  • deal with a cranky baby when we forget it’s her nap time
  • Say bye bye to massages (major bummer)

Just basically the chance to be spontaneous because holiday=a relaxed time, no? And for moms, you will agree that even on a holiday, we never stop “working” when there’s a kid around so much so that we come home from a trip feeling like we need another holiday AFTER the holiday.

So for our up-coming holiday to Bangkok, we’re leaving the guilt at home and leaving Sophie with my in-laws. It’s wasn’t an easy choice, especially for me.

But we are doing it simply because

  • marriage and romance should not be neglected after a baby
  • a refreshed and rejuvenated mom = Happy mom= Less complains, less nagging = Happy Family ๐Ÿ™‚
  • I’m so looking forward to the massages. Period!

So go on, take time out as a couple for a holiday or do it simply for yourself. Your family will appreciate you for it (Read point 2 above).

Any stories to share about travelling without your kid and forgetting that you had one waiting for you at home after 5 days? Or are you planning one like me?

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Comments: 23

  1. Gladys Loh July 14, 2011 at 9:06 am Reply

    Agree totally ๐Ÿ™‚ we cld totally relax n hb cld go for his massage when we went on a 4D3N trip w/o Greg. I did miss him by 2nd nite but it quickly vanished coz I know he is in good hands. So enjoy your upcoming well deserved BKK trip!!

  2. Susan Koh July 14, 2011 at 11:49 am Reply

    Gladys: yes I’m really looking for a good break too. At least we can Skype with her every night so hopefully that will keep me from missing her like crazy.

  3. Walter July 14, 2011 at 8:18 pm Reply

    Hi, I’ve chanced upon your blog via a retweet somewhere. I agree that bringing a toddler along can sometimes be more work than having a break with just you and your hubby. For my wife and I, most of our major trips abroad with my son – he is 7 years old and in P2 now – occurred only when he was 5 years old. At that age, they can relate more and are also more independent.

    Of course, bringing a kid along will also determine the itinerary. Cities and shopping or massage destinations are a big no-no as they get bored easily. I suppose this is why many of our trips are outdoors, close to nature, include farm stays, and lots of opportunities for animal encounters!

    • Susan July 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm Reply

      Yes, we were considering a farm stay for our next family trip. I’m sure my little one will enjoy seeing and feeding the animals. This will also be a nice change from being in the city.

  4. Joy Koh July 15, 2011 at 4:13 am Reply

    Where are you going?

  5. Susan Koh July 15, 2011 at 8:00 am Reply

    Bangkok my dear ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Corsage @ A Dollop Of Me July 16, 2011 at 6:11 pm Reply

    Kudos to you for taking this trip out to focus on your marriage! We’re all guilty as young moms to focus too much on our kids sometimes that we neglect our husbands. It is really hard to find a balance and guilt sets in ever so easily! Have a blast, babe. Sophie is in good hands and may you come back refreshed! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Susan July 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm Reply

      Thanks Corsage. Me and the hubby are really looking forward to our “two people world” on this trip.

  7. Yvonne July 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm Reply

    Awesome!! We have all been in that guilt trip. My hub and I have not been on a vacation since I was preggie. I am definitely looking forward to a vacation soon and I have already planned and hope I can stick to it, to leave Allysa with my mom. My hub and I definitely deserve a non-disrupted R & R holiday. I think BKK sounds like a great venue for vacation for the shopping and massages…WOWwww!! Please do share about the places you go and comments, okie? =) Have fun and a blast…and maybe a baby #2 too. hahahaa…

    • Susan July 17, 2011 at 5:17 pm Reply

      Yes we’re really looking forward to the trip too! You should definitely stick to your guns and just go! I’m sure a holiday does wonders to the body and soul ๐Ÿ™‚ where are you headed for?

      Yeah will blog about my trip when I’m back. Pray that it will be calm and peaceful in Thailand. As for baby 2, we’ll just go with the flow and let nature takes it course ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Yvonne July 20, 2011 at 11:25 am Reply

        We have no plans/time for a vacation at the moment. Hubby is pretty held up with work (um hmm…very reasonable reason). So letโ€™s hope for a surprise from him soon, eh? A little positivity goes a long way.

        Anyway have fun, Susan!

        • Susan July 21, 2011 at 10:32 am Reply

          Thanks! I am totally enjoying the shopping and massages here ๐Ÿ™‚ Go plan for the holiday in Aug, there are 3 public holidays including the date set aside for the presidential election!

  8. Madeline July 18, 2011 at 10:47 am Reply

    Haha incidentally I have a post just like this, except that I left my baby at home when she was only 1.5 months and I was still breastfeeding. No idea what I was thinking. Then I left her again when she was 4 months (still bf-ing) and again at 6 months (STILL bf-ing). I had to bring a pump and everytime I expressed milk I would think of her. It was some kind of torture really.

    But it was worth it though. If there’s anything my hubby and I both enjoy is travelling and eating. So the sacrifices I make to go on the trip with him let’s him know he matter too and not just the baby. So I agree with ya. Building your marriage is just as important as building your child =)

    • Susan July 18, 2011 at 11:52 pm Reply

      Awww your heart must be aching whenever you think of your little one as you pump. I know I would. But good on you for taking those holidays with your hubby. Mine is kind of overdue since Sophie is turning two soon, so I’m going to compensate by buying her lots of presents there.

  9. Ed July 18, 2011 at 12:13 pm Reply

    U guys went to the Hard Rock Hotel in Penang? I liked wat I saw there! ๐Ÿ™‚ Was the stay good?

    • Susan July 18, 2011 at 11:57 pm Reply

      Are you planning for a trip to Penang? We enjoyed our stay in Hard Rock very much. It’s near to the Butterfly park and also just in front of the Batu Ferringhi beach. The kids will enjoy the kid’s club as well as the water slides in the pool. Only draw back is that it’s quite far from Gurney Drive but if you intend to rent a car then it’s quite alright.

  10. Back from Bangkok | A Juggling Mom July 28, 2011 at 9:06 pm Reply

    […] take care of Sophie so that we could enjoy this holiday. And it seems that my fears of going on a holiday without Sophie were unfounded as she took to our absence very well as my mother in law reported that she hardly […]

  11. To Kimichi Land | A Juggling Mom October 6, 2011 at 9:18 pm Reply

    […] just in case you’re wondering, yes, Sophie’s not joining us for this trip. Guilt trip? What guilt trip? I’ll say that aย holidayย just for us is what needed to keep the marriage […]

  12. NerdyMum October 24, 2012 at 12:13 am Reply

    Oh yes, I miss the spontaneity of travelling as a couple. I love street food and feel that the way to experience the local’s way of life is to eat what they eat and how they eat it. Restaurants catered to tourists somehow don’t cut it for me when I travel. After being a Mum, it’s eating at cleaner (read boring) restaurants.

    And yes. Holidayed Mum = Happy Mum!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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