Confession of a Selfish Mum

Selfish mum 02

Mother’s Day is just round the corner and it’s an occasion that all mums deserves a day off. But truth be told that while the family feels it’s a day to indulge mums with cakes, presents or a fancy meal, what I really want is to be able to take time out for myself and indulge in what I enjoy.

That’s right, all I want is simply time for myself.

A day to sleep in without having to wake up and prepare breakfast. A day to just laze around the house and not do the chores. A day to even go for some pampering, think a massage, manicure or pedicure. A day where I can lock myself in my craft room and indulge in my hobbies (I’ve fallen so far behind on Project Life 🙁 ) And then end the day with a nice meal, not cooked by me of course.

I know the notion of taking time for ourselves may sound selfish to other mothers. After all,  we’re suppose to be self sacrificing and always be there for our families. And how is it a Mother’s Day celebration, if I choose to do my own things?

That’s why it was such a battle for me to decide to go on a staycation without Sophie and then head off to Bangkok with my colleagues the next weekend without her again. And can I say in all honestly that it was such a fabulous holiday because I got to shop and shop and shop in Platinum Mall, in Chatuchak without having to worry if I’m boring my hubby and child especially when we went to Chatuchak weekend market. I got my taste buds all fired all with spicy Thai food which I wouldn’t be able to have if Sophie was with me. I got to stay up late just chatting with my friends and watching movies back in the hotel.

Was I being selfish? Wouldn’t she miss me? 

Shouldn’t I include my family in the equation?

Sadly for mums, being selfish or putting ourselves first is a regarded as a sin. And that’s why we have so many tired and depressed mums who feel that they have had enough of being a mother.

Happy Mother = Happy Family

I’m honestly thankful that I CAN make a choice to go for a holiday without Sophie because I have my parents and in-laws who are ever willing to step in to take care of her. And a very supportive and understanding hubby who knows the importance to have time for myself and is ever ready to step up on his parenting game.

Does not that make a bad mother? Of course not and neither are you if you choose yourself over your family too. I love being a mum and while I’m far from being a perfect or super mum, I can say that I’m doing my best every single day.

Sure she may have missed us when both mummy and daddy went on a weekend staycation without her. But our marriage is no less important as well and I’m a firm believer that kids should recognise that too. And while it may break her heart to see mummy go for a holiday the very next weekend with my friends, it wouldn’t hurt that she got to have special bonding time with daddy who even took her our for a show and bought her a new bicycle!

Selfish mum 01

I did remember to buy Sophie gifts and this was her favourite- lighted up Sofia the first slippers

I did remember to buy Sophie gifts and this was her favourite- lighted up Sofia the first slippers

And my mantra has always been a Happy Mother = Happy Family. And might I add for my hubby, Happy Wife= Happy Life. *wink*

So this Mother’s Day, go ahead and take care of yourself. Pursue your own personal happiness and take time to nourish yourself, your body, mind and soul. Trust me, you’ll benefit from it and so will your children too. And don’t ever for a second think that you’re being selfish my dear.

 

Do leave a comment and share what is your ideal Mother’s Day and what you’ll love to indulge in that makes you happy. Happy Mother’s Day in advance!

 

 

 

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Comments: 13

  1. Ai Sakura May 6, 2015 at 8:57 am Reply

    I believe it’s important to take good care of ourselves, so that we can take better care of our family too. A stressed out mummy will only stress out everyone around her! No special plans for Mother’s Day.. but enjoying a nice dessert somewhere would be a happy indulgence for me haha.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    • Susan May 6, 2015 at 2:13 pm Reply

      Exactly and I don’t see why we have to feel guilty for doing so. Thankfully hubby recognizes the red flags when he sees me getting stressed up and offers to help whenever he can 🙂

  2. SweetMemoirs Page May 6, 2015 at 11:25 am Reply

    Looking forward to our staycation this weekend! We have the same mantra! Advance Happy Mother’s Day, Susan!

    • Susan May 6, 2015 at 2:14 pm Reply

      Happy advance Mother’s Day to you too Cherry and enjoy your staycation.

  3. Mum's calling May 6, 2015 at 2:05 pm Reply

    So true. A Mummy has the essential mood for making a family happy. Similarly, I would love to wake up without having to worry about making breakfast. Have a great celebration ahead!

    • Susan May 6, 2015 at 2:21 pm Reply

      Haha, I agree Karen. Once we are mad, they better run and take cover. Have a good celebration too 🙂

  4. Angie May 7, 2015 at 3:33 pm Reply

    I so agree! And I would term it as Self Care, not selfish! : ) A run down mama is gonna be drama for the family! ; p Am still half hearted abt leaving kids n going to celebrate wkend getaway with hubs for our 10yr anni…… ; p

    • Susan May 11, 2015 at 1:15 pm Reply

      You should and you deserve it! Hope you have a wonderful time.

  5. littlebluebottle May 7, 2015 at 4:14 pm Reply

    Totally agree! That’s why for my birthday this year, my treat was to have a day out of alone time, plus lunch with the hubby. 🙂 Doesn’t make anyone a bad mummy at all! In fact, after being refreshed, we have so much more to give!

    • Susan May 11, 2015 at 1:15 pm Reply

      Yes, that’s what I did on my birthday last year too and it was refreshing to do quiet reflection. Yes a refreshed Mum is a recharged mum to take on more 🙂

  6. MissusTay May 7, 2015 at 6:26 pm Reply

    I agree with you! Sometimes the kids think they are on a holiday too when we mums are not around cos they get to eat more treats and go to bed later than usual. Win-win? :p

    • Susan May 11, 2015 at 1:12 pm Reply

      Absolutely! In fact Sophie told me she was at Nai Nai’s chalet when I was away last weekend.

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