Motivational Mondays – Understanding my child’s love language

Of late, I’ve been more and more inpatient with Sophie. Her carefree attitude makes it hard for her to take my instructions seriously and I really wished there was a fast forward button in her somewhere. This resulted in more threats and some days it even escalates to me meting out my threats with the cane where the tears will follow.

As a working mum, parenting seems extra hard on days when Sophie just refuses to do as instructed and I just wonder how much more of this must I put up with. Part of me was wondering how I can get my discipline methods to work but part of me was also wondering where did I go wrong.

And that’s why my latest read, The 5 love languages of Children was so enlightening. I haven’t gone very far with the book yet but one key thing that I’ve learnt is that a child needs to have his emotional tank full to feel loved. And when their emotional tanks are full, it’s much easier to speak to them and also discipline them.

I have to admit that at first I was all like, okay, that’s how I can effectively discipline Sophie. But as I read on, it was beyond the need to discipline but to demonstrate love to my child in the way that she really feels that I love her.

You may truly love your child, but unless she feels it- she will not feel loved.

Every one including our children have a unique love language. Though at four, it may be too early to tell what it is, I’m guessing that she’s like me and her love language is Quality Time

And for children, there are so many reason why their need for love should not be neglected because meeting their emotional needs is just as important as meeting their physical needs if we want them to grow and flourish. 

I’ve just started on the book but I’m already taking notes as I go along to think and reflect. I hope I’m not too late to learn how to love Sophie more so that she too can experience it and give it in return.

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Comments: 8

  1. DinoMama March 3, 2014 at 1:00 pm Reply

    I read this last year and I have shared snippets of quotes from the book in my facebook fan page too. It is indeed a good read which opened my eyes to see things differently and to accept things more gracefully then to snapped back at DinoBoy for his various requests for help or anything.

    • Susan March 6, 2014 at 10:16 am Reply

      Yes, I’m motivated to read it after I read tour sharing 🙂 I have not been the most patient mum in the world even after reading tb the book and I have so much to learn.

  2. Ai Sakura March 3, 2014 at 3:41 pm Reply

    thanks for introducing this book.. I think I’ll enjoy reading it too 🙂

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    • Susan March 6, 2014 at 10:15 am Reply

      Hope you have a chance to read it. It’s really a good read for parents to understand our children better.

  3. Meen March 3, 2014 at 10:24 pm Reply

    I think I need to get the book too. J has been increasingly hard to manage, and I get short fused easily due the pressures from work too. Not the best combi. I am sure this book will help me manage J better. Thanks for sharing.

    • Susan March 6, 2014 at 10:14 am Reply

      I know how it can be. Honestly this stage is one of the toughest time as they are learning to be independent and can be very stubborn. Hang in there K.

  4. […] the book, The Five Love Languages of Children which I’ve shared about here, I’ve spoken of the concept of emotional tank. Just like how a car needs to be powered by […]

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