We all know that we love our children and spouses but the question is have we shown them in a tangible way that they know it? For me, understanding the different primary love languages that every individual has is enlightening as Alexis and I has very different love language.
His is without a doubt Acts of Service while I swing between Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. And because we both have different love language, we show and receive love in different ways. I still remember the gift that I received from Alexis this year was not flowers or even a card, but him taking time to clear the study room so that I can have my crafting corner. Since then, I also try to reciprocate by putting my love into action like offering to do his share of chores or putting Sophie to bed so that he can have his personal aka caveman time.
You may truly love your child and spouse, but unless they feels it- they will not feel loved
Since a few of my friends have benefited from the book, the 5 Love Languages, I thought it will be worthwhile to share more about each love language on the blog so that we can know the areas to work on and enhance our relationship with our spouses and children.
Love Language #1 : Physical Touch
For children, they need plenty of physical touch in their early years. That’s why they feel most comforted by a hug, a cuddle or a kiss. And when they grow up, these may turn to hugs and kisses, wrestling with daddy for boys and riding on daddy’s shoulders. For young kids, most of their primary love language is physical touch before they grow up to be more aware of other needs.
For those whose love language is Physical Touch, your message comes strongest with a meaningful touch. And similarly when you hold back on them, and use them as an expression of anger, it may hurt your spouse or child very deeply.
For Sophie,. she’s a huge fan of hugs and kisses and the teachers in her childcare always laugh at us because she can hug and kiss and hug somemore and even scratch my arms when I drop her off in the mornings. When she’s upset, I calm her down with a tight squeeze and rub her back to calm her down.
Love in Action
Here are some ideas for you if your child and spouse love language is Physical Touch
- Huge and kiss everyday when you leave and return from work or before you tuck your kids to bed
- Stroke your child’s hair or rub their shoulders when they had a bad day
- Snuggle closely when watching the TV together
- Give your spouse a massage after they had a long and tiring day
- Give high fives to celebrate a win or when you see them accomplish something new
- Read storybooks with your child on your lap
- Reach out and hold your spouse hand when you walk together
- Occasionally call for a group hug for the entire family and don’t leave anyone out
Do you have any more to add on? Next week, we move on to explore about Word of Affirmation.
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