Last weekend I had a bit of a melt down…okay, that’s putting it too mildly.
Last weekend, I lost myself.
And by that, I meant I was nothing like what you get even on a bad day. And what triggered it was because the hubby delayed booking the hotels for our up coming trip which meant I had to scramble to look for alternatives. I hate being sprung with surprises like that and with the heat, the crazy pms hormones in overdrive mood, I lost it and screamed at him. I threw cushions, slammed doors and screamed at him. Oh in case you’re wondering, no Sophie was not home when mummy turned into a monster.
Was it really necessary? Would all the drama land us the hotel I wanted? Most probably not. But when you’ve lost it, you’re completely thrown off the edge and nothing can pull you back unless you want to.
And that explains why I felt so sick in the stomach after the whole episode. Sick because I screamed, sick because I cried, sick because I couldn’t control my emotions and let it take over me. I felt horrible but at the same time felt like I’ve released all these frustrations when I screamed into my pillow. Yes, I even did that!
By evening, we made up but I still felt sick. When Sophie saw me hugging my stomach with tears rolling down my check, she came over and said a prayer for me for Jesus to take my tummyache away. She even asked if I needed anything and brought me warm water with daddy’s help. What I was more surprised was when she told me that she will not wake me if she needed to pee and that she wanted to rub baby oil on my tummy to make me feel better. When I couldn’t keep my dinner down anymore and threw up, she stood over me and rubbed and patted my back. I felt so guilty for my childish behavior and here is my daughter who behaved so maturely beyond her years.
I’m blessed and yet sometimes I’m blind to the goodness in my life. I’m feeling much better today after a good nights’ rest and am reminding myself that being well is not just physically but also emotionally and mentally. I hope I don’t come across sounding like the green hulk and make you think less of me.
If you do, I’ll just blame it on my PMS.
Do link up every Monday with my Motivational Mondays post. Don’t forget to grab my badge below and include it in your post after you have linked up and leave me a comment too. I will be hosting Motivational Monday every week and I hope that you can join me every Monday. Have a great week ahead!
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