Motivational Monday {Linky Party} – Parenting with Love

In another 2 weeks time, Sophie will be turning three.

I thought I would have bid goodbye to the terrible twos. But instead, I seem to be greeted by the tantrum-throwing threes. I know people say that we shouldn’t give such labels to our kids if we don’t want them to act out such negative affiliations. And trust me, I’m one of them who don’t do that … at least not in front of Sophie.

I needed help in dealing with those tantrums of hers which can quickly escalate into full blown melt downs if I don’t give what she wants or accede to her demands. It also didn’t help that I’ve become very impatient with her of late to the point that I even shouted in her face once when she simple refused to go to bed at 11pm!

Needless to say,  she burst into tears and even wanted to smack me for scaring her with my sudden outburst. That night, we both cried to bed. Her, for being scared out of her wits by her manic mummy and me for losing my cool and turning into such a monster.

I know needed help.

To learn how to handle Sophie’s difficult behaviors, I have been reading this parenting book from Michele Borba titled, No more misbehavin’.

 

You would have thought that the book would dive into addressing all 38 difficult behaviors as it states on the cover. But instead the first chapter starts by getting you to take a good hard look at yourself as we are our kids biggest influence.

But the part that really made be think long and hard was the question, “how do you react when your child misbehaves and what message does it send to your child?” I knew then that if I wanted to correct her behaviors, I first had to deal with mine.

That screaming episode was 2 weeks ago. At my hubby’s advice, I have sleeping earlier so that I don’t get over tired and snappy easily. These days, I’ve been watching my temper and telling myself that I have to set an example for Sophie to follow if I want her to emulate the right behavior. It’s not easy all the time, especially when she threatens to go into her whining mode which gets under my skin.

Just last weekend, she got punished when she misbehaved so I refused to buy her dessert after dinner. She was so upset that she even went up to the cashier and told her, “I want my yogurt.” After standing in front of the counter and demanding her yogurt for 5 minutes, the crew came round with a small cup of yogurt for her.

A very ecstatic Sophie who got away with mummy’s punishment when the crew from Coffee Bean treated her to yogurt

She was really over the moon with her little treat.

I sure hope that that will be my first and last time losing my cool in front of her.  I know that I’m far from being the perfect mum and neither am I expecting her to be a perfect kid. I am simply doing my best to bring her up to the best of my ability and to parent her with love. I know that I can never do it in my own strength, but only with strength and wisdom from God.

I hope that you’ll cheer me along as I endeavor to be a better mum. That’s the motivation I need for today’s Motivational Monday.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13


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Do link up for my Motivational Monday posts to share a motivational post, quote, picture or even a goal that you have set for yourself for the week. Grab my badge above and include it in your post after you have linked up and don’t forget to leave me a comment too.

I will be hosting Motivational Monday every week and I hope that you can all join me every Monday. Have a great week ahead!


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  1. Regina July 23, 2012 at 10:54 am Reply

    Timely post… just when I’m gearing up to meet the Terrible Twos headlong! 🙂

    • Susan July 23, 2012 at 9:38 pm Reply

      All the best Regina. The twos are not only the age that brings out the worst in our kids, but the worst in us mums too. Jia you!

  2. Ai Sakura July 23, 2012 at 11:15 am Reply

    I’m with u on this. I never raised my voice at Lil Pumpkin when she was younger but find myself doing so more often now 🙁 feel so bad and yet, the tugging feeling that I need to discipline her.It’s a hard balance which I’m still finding.

    • Susan July 23, 2012 at 9:40 pm Reply

      Yes it is a balance and we have to learn to correct the behavior but do that in love so that our kids will not be crushed by our discipline. But I’ve come to slowly recognise what makes her tick so that I know how to reward and punish her accordingly.

  3. DinoMama July 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm Reply

    You are the goodie mum while I’m the evil mum. I would have stopped the coffeebean crew from giving DinoEgg the dessert OR I will ask DinoEgg if he think he deserve the dessert.

    Being an experienced mum *LOL* who handled terrible 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5 you think I would have know how to keep my cool. Well I did, only starting this year when he is 6. I have screamed my head off in front of him when he misbehaves, scaring the hell out of him. It is expected when dealing with a challenging child but not forgiven for my act. I have read books that should have prep me to handle him but sometimes emotions over flow, tired mind n body all pent up n eventually it blew. guilty as charged. period.

    Well damaged has been done… he seen n learn the bad behavior from me and I paid my price. Now we are on the road of “recovery”, we try to control our Monster behavior (thats what we call tt) and we learn to control our temper.

    So you, being more patient then me, should be able to do it with much ease then this Bull headed mum. Cheers and Kambatei!

    • Susan July 23, 2012 at 9:43 pm Reply

      Jennifer, actually I was wondering if my discipline backfired. But seeing how happy she was, made me realise that she was apologetic about her behavior and that we all deserve a second chance too.
      You’re right that when we’re tired and stressed out, we will sometimes act on our emotions and it may not be the best strategy. So I’ve been reminding myself to get more rest so that I can preserve my sanity for the battles ahead. Jia you, jia you!

  4. Dee July 23, 2012 at 2:25 pm Reply

    It takes practice to be patient. I lose my cool many times and I’m always reminded that my child needs me to be able to manage myself.

    When I am in a bad mood, I don’t want people to shout at me. I want people to be patient and learn to understand me. Similarly for a child, they need us to see things beyond the surface, to understand them.

    Jia You! We are in this “tantrum game” together. Don’t let tantrum get the better of us!

    • Susan July 23, 2012 at 9:46 pm Reply

      Yes, amen to that. I’m so thankful that I’m not in this alone and that there are mums who get what I’m going through. I do wish that parenting was easier but through the growing pains, we will all grow.

  5. Amie July 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm Reply

    I’m trying my best not to shout at them too but sometimes its kind of hard when my patience is up to over my limit 😛
    No matter what, I think all of us are trying to be a better parent & its always a never ending challenge for us to handle.

    • Susan July 26, 2012 at 12:45 am Reply

      So true Amie. Even when they get older, I’m sure we’ll face with a different set of challenges. Jia you to us!

  6. Summer July 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm Reply

    Hey girl. I guess we are all in the same phase cos our girls are aged the same. =p I never once thought I would shout in her face or even hit her tiny little hand, but to confess I have and it’s getting more now that she’s starting to defy and showcase classic tantrums too. Sometimes I really go bonkers especially when I’m alone and the hubby is out sailing for long periods of time. Need to breathe, cool down but yet she comes chasing after me every minute crying. Well, I guess we all learn along the way and it’s great to have friends like you who share experiences, letting me know I’m not that alone after all. Let’s all jia you together in this journey of motherhood!!

  7. littlebluebottle July 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm Reply

    Hmm.. I wouldn’t have been pleased with the coffee bean crew. completely undermining the mummy!

    I guess we’re all trying to find the balance and thin line between enough discipline and excessive discipline / losing our cool discipline.

  8. Dominique@Dominique's Desk July 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm Reply

    I personally wouldn’t let her have the yoghurt even though it was given by coffee bean as it only shows that if there are others there to plead on her part she doesn’t need to listen to you. I would take the yoghurt but offer to the other kids /or have it myself least she feels that acting up that way is acceptable. I too do shout at kids sometimes and am trying my best not to do so as it really doesn’t help both the parents and the child unless he is in mortal danger and needs to be stopped right away.

  9. Lim Lee Lee July 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm Reply

    Bravo Susan! Turn to God for Wisdom when you meet her in her tantrum throwing mood. It’s not easy to be a mummy but you are doing very well. Jiayou:D

  10. Lim Lee Lee July 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm Reply

    Bravo Susan! Turn to God for Wisdom when you meet her in her tantrum throwing mood. It’s not easy to be a mummy but you are doing very well. Jiayou:D

  11. Lim Lee Lee July 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm Reply

    Bravo Susan! Turn to God for Wisdom when you meet her in her tantrum throwing mood. It’s not easy to be a mummy but you are doing very well. Jiayou:D

  12. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:05 am Reply

    Lim Lee Lee: Indeed I do need God’s wisdom… Had to scold her before she slept again because she asked for one more song and another song and another song…

  13. Susan Koh via Facebook July 24, 2012 at 12:05 am Reply

    Lim Lee Lee: Indeed I do need God’s wisdom… Had to scold her before she slept again because she asked for one more song and another song and another song…

  14. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:05 am Reply

    Lim Lee Lee: Indeed I do need God’s wisdom… Had to scold her before she slept again because she asked for one more song and another song and another song…

  15. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:05 am Reply

    Lim Lee Lee: Indeed I do need God’s wisdom… Had to scold her before she slept again because she asked for one more song and another song and another song…

  16. Evelyn July 24, 2012 at 1:21 am Reply

    I think I would’ve smiled inwardly if my daughter had marched up to the counter to demand her dessert, infuriating as it would’ve been. In life, you do need a little spunk to get what you want against the odds, and I wouldn’t want to quash that completely.

    • Susan July 26, 2012 at 12:43 am Reply

      Yes. And I guess that’s why I relented. After all, she did learn her lesson that there is a consequence to her actions but thankfully, someone saved her day 🙂

  17. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Sorry for the multiple comments.

  18. Susan Koh via Facebook July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Sorry for the multiple comments.

  19. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Sorry for the multiple comments.

  20. Susan Koh July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm Reply

    Sorry for the multiple comments.

  21. Lim Lee Lee via Facebook July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Why not you try this. Mamma has sung the songs I have in my mind for today. Tomorrow I find some more and sing you?

  22. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Why not you try this. Mamma has sung the songs I have in my mind for today. Tomorrow I find some more and sing you?

  23. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Why not you try this. Mamma has sung the songs I have in my mind for today. Tomorrow I find some more and sing you?

  24. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Why not you try this. Mamma has sung the songs I have in my mind for today. Tomorrow I find some more and sing you?

  25. Lim Lee Lee via Facebook July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Hopes this works.

  26. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Hopes this works.

  27. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Hopes this works.

  28. Lim Lee Lee July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm Reply

    Hopes this works.

  29. Lilsnooze July 25, 2012 at 6:36 am Reply

    Patience is such a much needed commodity for mums, eh? We need a huge dose of it. I am also strugglin with this everyday esp since i am naturally impatient (oh no!) & their tantrums set me off on a meltdown too. Hahah.

    So, the only way i know is to cry out to God to help me to change the way i react( easier to change myself than them i guess!) and also pray for my children to learn to be obedient!

    • Susan July 26, 2012 at 12:34 am Reply

      Amen to that. Maybe it is God’s way to telling me that I have no one else to lean on but Him alone…

  30. janie real July 25, 2012 at 1:32 pm Reply

    we are in the same boat, susan (((hugs))). my girl had the worst (thus far) tantrum last week, she cried and screamed for hours on end. i’m having a hard time responding to her calmly while setting firm boundaries at the same time. glad you wrote about this. best of luck to us! we can do this =)

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