Letter to my only child

For a while now, Sophie has been asking me why she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters like her friends in school as most of her classmates have siblings. It aches my heart to hear that question because God knows how I desire to be a second-time mum.

With Sophie being older now, I don’t shy from these questions and even engage Sophie in conversations on this topic which she likes to ask about during our nightly chit-chat sessions aka her legitimate way to saying let’s chat and not go to sleep so early time. And I still fall for it because it comes with loads of hugs, cuddles and kisses.

Sophie, you want a sister or brother, but do you think you’ll make a good Jie Jie?

Almost without hesitation, she’ll reply “Yes, I can help you to take care of baby.” I have no doubts about that as she’s going to be six this year and she’s been a very sensible girl for her age despite times when she goes into a six going sixteen mode and drive me up the wall.

But just hearing that 6 years age gap is making me wonder how she’ll take to another child having to share the attention and limelight which she’s so used to having from both of us. In fact, I wonder if my heart has the capacity to love another like her too since we have a very close and tight bond.

And besides the question of how we’ll cope with another child, is also when will we get to welcome another life in our homes again? To be very honest, I used to get very emotional every month when I get disappointed again and again. But these days, I’ve rather come to greater peace and acceptance regardless if a baby comes along or not.

I’ve prayed about it and claimed Genesis 1:28, and have no doubt that God can and is able. So I’ll just leave it at that. But I’m also reminded that it doesn’t make me less of a mum with just one child and I know Sophie feels the same about it because I’m affirmed by her ever so often that I’m the best mummy in the whole wide world. And for that, I’m grateful and my heart is full.

Letter to my only child

Dear Sophie,

You’ve always longed to have a sibling and ask why you don’t have a brother or sisters like so many of your classmates especially when they come to school with tales of the fun, adventure and sometimes quarrels that they have. I know how you like playing with babies and looking at the way your eyes light up when you get to play with your baby cousin gives me assurance that you’ll make a fabulous older sister.

You know mummy’s heart desire and even lay hands to pray for a baby to come and for that I’m so encouraged in my faith because you know the power of prayer and knows that God alone is the giver of life.

But my dear, you are the reason I became a mum and for that, I’m so blessed that you’re in our lives. Just the other night, I reminded you how special you are to us because there is no one in the whole wide world who sings like you, dance like you, thinks and acts like you and is as silly as you. You have such a tender and giving heart and never fails to lift my spirits when you give me your great big bear hug. Like mummy, you delight in words of affirmation and you always tell me things like, you are my favourite mama and how I’m the best mummy to you.

We may be a family of three and may remain that way or not. But whatever comes our way, we will always have each other.

Love mummy

Letter to my only child 01



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Comments: 22

  1. Ai Sakura March 5, 2015 at 10:44 am Reply

    I feel you Susan. That’s a lovely letter to pen to Sophie and no doubt, you are no lesser a mum just because you are mother to one.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    • Susan March 6, 2015 at 9:22 am Reply

      Yes. I know how incredibly blessed I am already with Sophie. You’re a great Mum to lil pumpkin too.

  2. Jaslyn March 5, 2015 at 10:57 am Reply

    Hi Susan, I’m so touched by your letter to Sophie…You are right God is the Giver of life. Keep on believing and I’m sure God knows the desire of your heart…:)

    • Susan March 6, 2015 at 9:51 am Reply

      Amen and Amen!

  3. Emily March 5, 2015 at 1:29 pm Reply

    Dear Susan,
    You’re not alone. I get the same question from my boy too. Sometimes when I see siblings play together, I feel that my son is so lonely and start blaming myself. When it comes to 2nd child, there are a lot of things that are beyond my control. What I can do within my capability is to give him all my undivided love, care and attention. I’m sure our kids will understand that. despite their young age. Have faith and the day will come, you’re still young and plenty of opportunity. God bless!

    • Susan March 6, 2015 at 10:07 am Reply

      Thanks Emily. Don’t feel bad about it because like you said somethings are not within our control. I’m sure Edison knows he’s deeply loved by his parents and wouldn’t trade anything in the world for that. Hope your hearts’ desire be fulfilled too.

  4. Angie.S March 5, 2015 at 2:14 pm Reply

    Big hugs Susan….I’ve been through the same ‘drought’ as you, perhaps even more because of our painful child loss experience…When Dana started asking for a sibling, I felt I let my husband and daughter down big time….Penned some of my thoughts it in a post before Dana turned 5- http://www.lifestinymiracles.com/2013/03/a-birthday-wish-i-wish-i-can-fulfill/ ….I’m praying that God will grant the desires of your heart…and reveal His will to you…

    • Susan March 8, 2015 at 11:55 pm Reply

      Amen! Nothing less than the will of God in our lives. Am so glad that you have your precious ones in your life Angie.

  5. Summer March 5, 2015 at 3:32 pm Reply

    Hugs, Susan. It’s nice that you and Sophie share such a closely knitted bond and that you can talk about things openly like that. Mum of one or not, you are definitely one of the most hardworking and loving mums I know, so keep going strong no matter what! Thanks for sharing your thoughts so honestly, I admire you for that!

    • Susan March 9, 2015 at 12:01 am Reply

      That’s a tall hat for me coming from an amazing mum that look up to. Will continue to be the best mum that I can for Sophie 🙂

  6. Serene March 5, 2015 at 5:30 pm Reply

    Big hugs Susan ! Stay strong and positive about it ! There are other options which you can go for second opinion on conceiving for a second baby. Love how closely knitted you are with Sophie, for just this am sure Sophie will understand as she grows and age gap does not matter as long as we teach the siblings to love and care for each other. On the other hand, you have been a most awesome mum to Sophie =)

    • Susan March 9, 2015 at 12:04 am Reply

      Thanks Serene. I just do my best to be the best mum I can to Sophie. Thanks for your virtual hug.

  7. Madeline March 5, 2015 at 6:32 pm Reply

    Jiayou! Even if it doesn’t happen, I think at least you have a sweet wise understanding little girl who loves you. Hopefully things will work out for u 🙂

    • Susan March 9, 2015 at 8:31 am Reply

      Thanks Madeline 🙂

  8. Dee March 6, 2015 at 8:17 am Reply

    Hi Susan, a beautiful letter to Sophie. I’m touched and I know your heart’s desire. Thank God for the peace in your heart whether or not it will happen. 🙂

    • Susan March 9, 2015 at 8:32 am Reply

      Thanks Dee. It took me a while to learn what it means to be still regardless of the answer. But I’m contented, I really am.

  9. yAnn March 7, 2015 at 7:50 am Reply

    Hugs Susan. You are a wonderful mum and it is to your credit that Sophie has turned out the way she did. I pray that you will both get your happily ever after, no matter what form it takes. You deserve nothing less.

    • Susan March 11, 2015 at 7:04 pm Reply

      Thanks Li Yann. Credit is not entirely mine but also goes to hubby dearest 🙂

  10. MissusTay March 8, 2015 at 12:19 pm Reply

    hugs Susan.. you ARE a wonderful mom. praying that Sophie and you will have your wish come true in good time!

    • Susan March 11, 2015 at 7:05 pm Reply

      Thanks Candice.

  11. […] this was especially poignant, as I wrote an entry, Letters to my old child, some time back. While it may now have a lot of words, it made me see how precious my relationship […]

  12. angie July 19, 2015 at 2:47 pm Reply

    I write letters to my son and to our daughter who was stillborn. I am sure he is going to wonder why he is an only child, as we cant have any more children. He is our joy and life. There is no greater gift than being a mom.

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