Letter to my only child

For a while now, Sophie has been asking me why she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters like her friends in school as most of her classmates have siblings. It aches my heart to hear that question because God knows how I desire to be a second-time mum.

With Sophie being older now, I don’t shy from these questions and even engage Sophie in conversations on this topic which she likes to ask about during our nightly chit-chat sessions aka her legitimate way to saying let’s chat and not go to sleep so early time. And I still fall for it because it comes with loads of hugs, cuddles and kisses.

“Sophie, you want a sister or brother, but do you think you’ll make a good Jie Jie?“

Almost without hesitation, she’ll reply “Yes, I can help you to take care of baby.” I have no doubts about that as she’s going to be six this year and she’s been a very sensible girl for her age despite times when she goes into a six going sixteen mode and drive me up the wall.

But just hearing that 6 years age gap is making me wonder how she’ll take to another child having to share the attention and limelight which she’s so used to having from both of us. In fact, I wonder if my heart has the capacity to love another like her too since we have a very close and tight bond.

And besides the question of how we’ll cope with another child, is also when will we get to welcome another life in our homes again? To be very honest, I used to get very emotional every month when I get disappointed again and again. But these days, I’ve rather come to greater peace and acceptance regardless if a baby comes along or not.

I’ve prayed about it and claimed Genesis 1:28, and have no doubt that God can and is able. So I’ll just leave it at that. But I’m also reminded that it doesn’t make me less of a mum with just one child and I know Sophie feels the same about it because I’m affirmed by her ever so often that I’m the best mummy in the whole wide world. And for that, I’m grateful and my heart is full.

Dear Sophie,

You’ve always longed to have a sibling and ask why you don’t have a brother or sisters like so many of your classmates especially when they come to school with tales of the fun, adventure and sometimes quarrels that they have. I know how you like playing with babies and looking at the way your eyes light up when you get to play with your baby cousin gives me assurance that you’ll make a fabulous older sister.

You know mummy’s heart desire and even lay hands to pray for a baby to come and for that I’m so encouraged in my faith because you know the power of prayer and knows that God alone is the giver of life.

But my dear, you are the reason I became a mum and for that, I’m so blessed that you’re in our lives. Just the other night, I reminded you how special you are to us because there is no one in the whole wide world who sings like you, dance like you, thinks and acts like you and is as silly as you. You have such a tender and giving heart and never fails to lift my spirits when you give me your great big bear hug. Like mummy, you delight in words of affirmation and you always tell me things like, you are my favourite mama and how I’m the best mummy to you.

We may be a family of three and may remain that way or not. But whatever comes our way, we will always have each other.

Love mummy

 

 

Tagged: Letters to Sophie