A few weeks ago, NTUC came up with a proposal to increase the current 4 months maternity leave to 6 months to bring up the fertility rate in Singapore. Most women were not convinced that this would encourage them to have or have babies and instead, many expressed fears that this would cause employers to find excuses not to hire female workers.
I shared my views on this when I was interviewed by the Asian Parent, and suggested that what would be more useful in encouraging more babies is practical financial assistance as the costs associated with having a child is increasing. Another point that I brought up but was not quoted was that paternity leave should be introduced so that new dads can have have equal opportunity to bond and take care of the baby.
As a working mum, I am very grateful that Alexis has been a very involved father right from the start of my pregnancy. I remembered how he’ll try to accompany me for every gyne appointment and even attended the pre-natal classes with me so that he’ll be prepared when Sophie is born. When the confinement nanny left after a month and Sophie started to get colicky, he would surf the internet and find out how to comfort her and rock her to sleep in the sling while I get some rest myself. And even till now, he would be the one to pick her from the childcare centre and bring her home if I have to work late. So for him, he recognize that parenting is not just the role of a mother but that fathers also have a very vital role in the family.
So when it was finally brought up in the recent National Day Rally speech by the Prime Minister that paternity leave was something that will be looked into, I was very heartened that we were prepared for a change in the right direction. In addition, to paternity leave, there will also be other measures such as re-looking into work-life balance, housing priority for couple with children, as well as changes to the pre-school education.
Of course, these is only so much that the government can try to implement to encourage couple to have more babies. The decision ultimately rests on couples and this is a decision that should not be taken lightly. While there will be need to make adjustments to your lifestyle but the joys of parenthood is something that cannot be exchanged in the world.
For us, regardless of what the government plans to implement, we are planning for a second one as we really enjoy this parenting journey and having a sibling for Sophie would be a good companion in her growing up years. Do pray with us as my gyne had recently me that the fibroid are resurfacing and it may be difficult to conceive. But we’re going by faith and entrusting it all in the Lord’s hands.
Linking up with Sandra’s Talkative Thursdays.
What do you feel are effective measures that will encourage mums to have more babies? Do share your view.
6 months paid leave is not the best proposal. It takes 2 hands to clap, there’s only so much the government can give and encouraged; ultimately, is up to the couple to make the choice to have babies. I suppose a pro-family employer plays a part to birth rate.
Your #2 will come to past! Nothing is impossible for those who trust in Him. I prayed and waited for our #1, been through the same for #2, and will be delivering my #2 in Oct. Praise the Lord!
Hi,
6 months maternity leave, I would welcome the idea as most would want to breastfeed the baby up to 6 month of age than change to a 2nd stage of formula milk. 6 month is actual an idea time frame for maternity leave and personally I think its the max we can go and maybe no more extension.
The extra baby bonus really help alot in cases like using in medical fees, recently my girl was sick and we have been going to the hospital 3 time and visiting the PD for 2 times all this sum up nearly to S$500+ close to S$600. I welcome the $$ factor too.
I am concern on the help which could be given to us after mummies return to work. I had a hard time which I was about to return to work. My mom stay in the east and its too far for her. My mother-in-law just had an operation and evern she recover now her ablity to care for baby is not 50% and strangly my child choose not to stick to her but rather to my own mom who see her must lesser. We got a maid but she is too smart for us cause is work in Singapore before. Finally we got a nanny, a very good nanny which we are thankful.
At the begining, we are worried if our child are in safe hands… we even as a copy of the caretaker ID so in any case I can report her to the police.
I would be happy if the govt could help on this area too. Eg. If I hire a nanny, we will register her with my child’s birth cert with the near by police post at list this serve an assusrace for both party. I dont need to request for a copy of her ID as some people may not be comfortable in this area. Govt could give free classes to teach and certified nanny with this we know who is certified to take care of baby.
Lastly I am expecting my #2 and babydust to you Susan and good luck 🙂
Hi Christy,
Like you, my in-laws stayed far from us and we were not keen to do the daily commute to and fro everyday. Leaving her with them for the weekdays and only bringing her home for the weekends was out of the question too. My mum’s legs are quite weak and she has a dog which I didn’t like. So in the end, we chose to put her in infant care when she was 4 months. At the time, some people felt it was “cruel” and heartless but we never wanted to have a stay-in helper after hearing so many horror stories. And frankly it was not as bad as it sounds since there are many care givers there who are trained as well. But when we do have a 2nd one, we may have to relook at our options.
It’s really great that you have such a good nanny whom you can entrust your child with. I do have a few friends whose kids are being taken care of by nannies but it wasn’t easy looking for them. You’re really lucky to have a good nanny.
Thanks for your baby dust 🙂
I would love for 6 months of maternity, mainly cos as a baby, there are always a truckload of “emergencies” that need to be attended to. With Jay, I even exhausted my annual leave in his first year (of cos then maternity leave was 3 months only).
And a HUGE yes to financial assistance. Childcare fees is taking a toll on me. Haha… That plus other things like maid salary & levy, enrichment classes and cost of milk powder/diapers… huge dent in my monthly income.
Yes the expenses double with another child. While I’m trying not to think so much about it, it means I have to keep working or make adjustments to our lifestyle.
May your wish comes true. God Bless! 🙂
May your wish comes true. God Bless! 🙂
May your wish comes true. God Bless! 🙂
It’s nice that the government are making the change. When I had my first child, it was only 2 months maternity leave and then when the 2nd one came along, maternity leave didn’t exist because I was already a SAHM! :p Susan, I’ve sent a quick prayer for the Lord to bless you with another mini you or mini Alexis soon. There’s nothing He can’t do for you. *hugs*
Praying for you! Hope you will have good news to share soon 🙂
Praying that you get your #2 soon. I’m sure that Sophie will be thrilled when she hears that she has a new sibling on the way.
Susan,
I’m going to disregard all other factors – and cheer you and Alexis on!
Hope Sophie will have a sibling soon! 🙂
You’re in my prayers, Susan! May He give you the desires of your heart. 🙂
I guess parenthood is all about sacrifice…And yet the joy that our children bring far outweighs whatever lifestyle adjustments we have to make (just like you said). Praying for you Susan and Alexis. May God grant you both the desires of your heart! 🙂
I reckon many Singaporeans feel they need to be ready (financially) before they can plunge into parenthood. There’s also a lot of fear about the environment that we’ll be raising kids in and the need to keep up. Maternity/paternity leave doesn’t address these fears, so I’m kinda skeptical about how much impact that will have.
If anyone asks, I’ll readily admit to them that both my kids are accidents. Kids were not in our plans at all! I also make sure to tell others that I like my life post-kids–it’s simpler, more purposeful, and you get to experience a different sort of love. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be extremely stressful. It’s too bad you can’t see it till you’re actually in it.
Oops, didn’t mean to do a Talkative Thursday here! All best with trying for #2! :o)
Thanks Evelyn. For some couples, they will find 1,001 reasons not to have kids and no amount of changes and incentives will convince them otherwise. The joy and the love we receive from our kids are so pure and cannot exchanged for anything else in the world. As a mum I wouldn’t want to have it any other way too.
I’m not sure that I would have wanted 6 months maternity leave. When I had my 2nd & 3rd it was 3 months but I ended up using the last week to work 4 day weeks for the first month.
I would like to see the 2 months added to be used by either the father or mother.
Something else they should look into is flexi-working. In the UK you have the right to request flexible working on returning from maternity leave and the onus is on the employer to prove that it is not possible rather than the other way around. It would take a big mindset change especially in those companies where people are still marked down on their appraisals if they aren’t normal full-time workers but it can be done. Even working for a large US MNC my bonus was pro-rated down due to my maternity even though I probably worked twice as hard as usual immediately before & after my maternity leave.
Susan – trusting in the Lord that no. 2 will be on the way soon.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. (Psalm 130:5)
Thanks Nicki. I would like to see how the area of flexi-work will pan out in Singapore too. Honestly it’s something that can be easily implemented with the ease of technology, tele-conference, etc. but you’re right that many Asian employers are still having a mindset that they must see you to know that you’re working and worse assume that only if you work beyond the official working hours then you’re a good, hard worker.
I’m trusting our plans for No 2 in His hands too 🙂
Hey Susan, great to know that Alexis has been so involved in taking care of Sophie since Day 1. Well done! =) I’m also hoping that they will pass the increase in paternity leave this year or next, it just means so much to us mums too. Good luck in trying for you #2 and I’m sure you will succeed! Jia you! =)
Thanks Iris!
Thanks Iris!
Thanks Iris!
No amount of baby bonus or maternity leave will ever get me pregnant again! This is my reason: http://myexplicitworld.blogspot.sg/2011/03/no-to-more-babies-and-no-to-tiger-mom.html
Yes, LHL said in his NDR speech something about fixing the preschool education, but I doubt it is going to make any huge difference to the way Singaporeans raise their kids. I am not convinced. Sorry.
Thanks for all the prayers and best wishes ladies 🙂
I think for middle income families, the choice to have kids is mostly a personal one. And raising kids is hard work, no matter how fulfilling it is at the end of the day!
All the best to you! Praying for good news for you. 🙂
I think issues of maternity, paternity, and child care costs are also of issue here. But not only that, it’s the costs to raising them until adulthood and also the commitment! Some ppl won’t have kids even if “the price is right” bc it’s not their calling in life. Anyways, good luck on conceivIng your 2nd!
The consideration for starting a family should never be about money matters first otherwise kids will be deemed as a life-long liability. Deciding to start a family should always stem from a genuine love for kids and wanting to have an extension of you hubby and yourself. Thanks for your well wishes, Lisa!