How do you keep your cool with your kids?
Truth is, I’m horrid at keeping my cool with Sophie. As cute as she may look, and as much as I love her from the moon and back, she can be a terror when she goes into one of her melodramatic tantrums. These days, you can not accuse her of anything otherwise it will just set her off in a torrent of tears and tantrums. And she’ll make sure you go on a guilt trip when she exclaims, “You’re hurting my feelings”…. followed by more tears.
And then there are days when she does things every so slowly even when she knows it a mad rush every weekday morning. I got to admit that I’ve a problem being on time but having her doing things at snail’s pace makes me snap especially when I get no response from her despite all my hurrying.
On good days, I take a deep breathe and count to ten and restrategise. Other days, I have to remind myself that it’s not ME, because she probably is indifferent and treats everyone the same way. And most days, I tell myself that this too shall pass.
But admittedly, the calm days are far and few these days and I’ve been losing my cool way too often. So often that I suspect she’s been picking up the screaming, exasperated tone plus a little attitude from me. Hubby is now usually the one to call a time out on me and takes over while I cool myself down. Which I do and then feel mad guilty about because she probably picking up all these behaviour from me, where I’ve become the exact person whom I’ve told her not to be.
I can’t even imagine how it will be when she becomes a teenager especially when she’s already an antsy five-year-old let alone 15 year-old.
I am still working on being a calm and cool mum. I know I’m not there yet but I know that if I want Sophie to behave better, mummy’s got to lead by example. So if you’ve got a tried and proven chill mum tip, do drop me a line. I’m sure I’m not the only mum who’s losing my cool 😛
How can I bear to stay mad at a face like that?
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Tagged: Parenting, parenting advice
oh you’re definitely not alone in this! I wish I was a more chill mum too, especially during the morning rush as I hate to be late for work. For that, sometimes I’ll try to have us wake up even earlier to prepare which does help 😛
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Wake up earlier on Monday mornings? You can hear me groaning at that painful thought from a mile away… I was just thinking how is it I used to be so patient with her when she was a babe and now have zero tolerance for her. Guess it’s also me who have work to do on my patience.
I lose it when I repeat my instructions so many times and get ignored. So I physically make them go to the spot I want them to, andthen I join them in the activity e.g. pack up the toys with them. Not the best way to train obedience I admit.
More prayer, and more modelling as you say, I suppose! Jia you to us!
Yes jia you, jia you. I have much to improve on in my patience dept too.
You are Definitely NOT the only one…hehehe… Hands Up for me. Though not proudly too. With much prayer and constant reminder, and I try to make it a point to ensure FULL eye and heart connection to get them to obey the first time. Also read somewhere by immediately giving a consequence the moment they do not obey, prevents us from getting to the stage of being angry due to constant nagging. I find that all these takes A LOT of discipline on my part. But having tried that principle, I also see how the kids’ attitude improve and my anger outbursts decreasing. Jiayou Susan! Having time to address such issues also plays an important part. : ) May you be empowered by His grace!
Thanks for the encouragement Angelia. It’s a constant WIP and only with God’s grace can we be better parents. I’m doing what you suggested, to tell Sophie the consequence the moment she misbehaves so that she knows I’m serious and means business and if she crosses the line, she’ll have to face the consequences. Lots of prayers needed in this department. Jia you too!
lol ! Susan, I can totally relate and feel you ! I failed to keep my cool as well, infact its like I gotta lash out at Xav almost everyday and felt so guilty after that ! kept telling myself to practise the failed orange rhino again until i can keep cool !
The orange rhino… yes the less yelling and love more mantra. I need to remember that too. Shall bookmark that blog as well. We can do it Serene!
Oh you are definitely not alone in this! I find myself losing my temper a lot too. And what I do sometimes is that if I feel I am going to be unnecessarily upset, I get the husband to take over and I do a time out immediately. Don’t be too hard on yourself! We are only human too :p
Hubby had to call a mummy time-out on me so many times and looking back I’ve really been too impatient with her at bed times. These days, I find that she’ll react better if I respond in a more loving way and that’s what I’ve been doing too.
Following. Hoping to learn a life-saving tip or two too.
Jia you Susan!
I’m learning a thing or two myself from the mummies who have left a comment 🙂 And from Serene’s comment, I went to the Orange Rhino blog and am bookmarking it for my reminder to be a zen mum 🙂