Motivational Mondays – Allowing kids to fail

Failure. It’s almost a taboo word in a society like ours where failure is frowned upon. We place so much emphasis on scores that we forget that schooling is just the start of a learning journey. Just look at the number of tuition centres we have in our tiny island and you’ll agree.

I was reading an article in the newspapers last Saturday and the title, “Go ahead, let your children fail” caught my attention. While it was written from an American point of view, many of what the author raised were true of what we see here in Singapore too.

Allowing our kids to fail

She recounted an encounter with a 15-year-old 10th grader who asked if it was worth trying a subject that she couldn’t excel and get an A in after she was encouraged to try something new. The author’s reply was for her to go for it and try what she wanted. After all, this is the age when failure have the lowest cost, and she should be learning new things. And, if she can”t do that at 10th grade, then when? I liked that advice and reminded myself that success is measured in so many other ways other than grades.

The measure of our children’s success should never be just about grades

We like kids to challenge themselves yet berate them when they take up something new and don’t come back with reports of flying colours. In fact, I turned all tiger mum on Sophie when I made her erase her Chinese homework when the characters didn’t look as neat and tidy as it should. But really at K1, did she needed to have perfect handwriting? I should have focused on the positive and praised her that she’s able to have a much longer attention span and finished her homework when she used to complained of pain in her wrist after writing a few characters when she initially brought back homework.

We have been so conditioned to be intolerant of failure that we forget that as kids grow up, this is their best time to learn. And along the way, they may make mistakes. But what’s most important is how they pick up themselves and learn from it. If we never allow them the chance to even fail, we could be setting them up for even greater disappointments ahead.

If we never allow our children the chance to even fail, we could be setting them up for even greater disappointments later in life

That’s why , I’m reminded to inculcate in Sophie a positive learning attitude.

Positive learning attitude

Here are my golden rules when it comes to learning for her

• Don’t be afraid to try something new. We will always be beginners at something
• Ask questions because there are no silly questions
• You will make mistakes but more importantly learn from your mistakes
• Learn from those who are good at what you want to learn
• Practice, practice, practice

Let’s take a step back from our over-parenting ways and give our kids the chance to learn what they want to and always be on the sides ready to be their greatest cheer leader!

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