When was the last time you dated your spouse?

I wonder how many of us mummies, still remember how our life was before the babies came along?


Sure, we love our roles as moms, and would never give up a thing in the world in exchange for it. As moms, we spend a lot of our waking moments worrying about our kids. We worry if they’re developing well, eating right, learning as well as our next door neighbor, and having endless conversations about the best enrichment centers in town and the best schools to enroll our kids in. When so much of our thought are focusing on our kids, is there any room for our spouses? And more often than not, we forget that before we became moms, we are once a wife.

It’s so easy to get caught up with the business of life with work and social commitments before the kids came along. But when you add children into the equation, there leaves hardly any room for us to nurture the foundation of our family – our marriages.

But without building a strong foundation in our marriage, how can the family be strong? That’s why, for me, it’s so important for Alexis and I to take time out to nurture our relationship by going on dates.

It can be as simple as a lunch date since we work near to each other, or a movie date so that we don’t left out at conversations of the latest movies. Some days, we make extra efforts for our dates by doing something special. Two Saturdays ago, we spent a day at Sentosa doing all the touristy stuffs and had great fun.


Some months backs, we took leave and went to the Universal Studios Singapore without Sophie. Sure, it will be fun to have Sophie with us. But having her along would defeat the idea of going on a date, would it? Plus, Alexis was looking forward to me going on the roller coaster with him, which I gamely did an applause please.



If you have not had a date with your partner for some time, the key is to make him your priority. If you only give him your leftovers, then you’re compromising the chances of your dates from happening. So it’s a good idea to plan ahead – make plans of where to go, do something that both of you enjoy, get some one to help babysit. The idea is to get the two of you some alone time together – time to reconnect as husband and wife.

So, why not mark down a date down in your calendar and ask your spouse on a date. And come on, we’re modern ladies, so whoever said that we can’t make the first move? It will be a bonus if we’ve got romantic hubbies to whisk us away for dates. But if it doesn’t happen, then let’s give them a nudge to make it happen. It can be as simple as a dinner for two, going for a movie, doing something that you both enjoyed in your dating days. You were probably pretty creative when the two of you were dating before you got married – so draw on that creativity!

Don’t let your marriage keep you from dating 🙂

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  1. Ming May 2, 2012 at 1:02 pm Reply

    *applause for your roller-coaster dare*! 😛 I hate roller coaster rides. I always felt like it’s my last minute of life just before i plunge down the steep slope. That’s probably why my husband is resorting to training his daughter up to be his roller coaster buddy. 😛

    Looking at you two lovebirds, I’d almost think you both are still enjoying your honeymoon, rather than a parent of a almost 3-yr-old. 🙂 *envious*

    • Susan May 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm Reply

      I always dread going for roller coaster rides when we go to the theme-parks. But once I’m on it, the adrenalin takes over and I just scream my lungs out. I’m such a screamer that I probably make it look more scary than it is.

      It’s important to still keep dating each other to keep the romance alive 🙂

  2. Felicia Cao May 2, 2012 at 1:28 pm Reply

    love your post Susan!! Can’t agree with you more.. you two are such a sweet couple!!

  3. Jason Ke May 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm Reply

    Susan, your post is just so great. I will definitely ask my future spouse to read what you have written! =)

  4. Ruth May 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm Reply

    Great post and good reminder! When kids arrive, the dynamics between a married couple usually changes, with the women now giving priority to their kids. But I realise this is not going to be healthy for the marriage in the long run… and I think the spouse does get jealous too 😛 So I’m making the effort not to let the hubby feel second place and go on dates more often. We now try to hang out at least once every week, doing what we love best – finding good places to eat! (that’s why there’s now more and more makan posts on my blog! :P)

    • Susan May 2, 2012 at 8:22 pm Reply

      Oooo then I got to read your blog on more food places to check out with the hubby too.

      Yes, it certainly is not as easy to go on dates as before. But nevertheless, we got to give our marriage priority and make time for it. It does make a difference and I can tell that my hubby really appreciates it too.

  5. Susan Koh May 2, 2012 at 5:59 pm Reply

    Thanks Felicia 🙂

  6. Susan Koh May 2, 2012 at 6:01 pm Reply

    @Jason Ke: Thanks. You do know that it takes two to tango right? So while it’s important that she reads it, you’ve got to practice it too 🙂

  7. June May 2, 2012 at 8:35 pm Reply

    I agree, Susan. We really need to make the effort, otherwise it’s easy to let things slide, and before you know it, the communication’s flat and the spark’s gone. For Vic and I, we love to do simple things together, like talking walks, jogging together, exploring cafes…etc. It’s funny but just getting into the mindset of spending intentional quality couple time goes a long way! Thanks for sharing this post! 🙂

    • Susan May 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm Reply

      I agree with what you said about intentionally setting aside time for our partners. it’s like we already score points even before going on dates. “DING!”. Haha.
      But jokes aside, it’s great that you guys are continuing to do stuffs together even with two kiddos. Must learn from you.

  8. Lee Lee May 2, 2012 at 9:31 pm Reply

    It’s a good reminder that I’ll share with friends. Kudus to you for making time and initiative to date your hubby. Hopes I can live this up should I have a family in future.

    • Susan May 7, 2012 at 2:07 am Reply

      It does take extra effort after the kid came along. But if you make it a priority, it can still happen 🙂

  9. Wabbit May 3, 2012 at 9:58 am Reply

    even my parents dating on their own, just sometimes it needs a little push from me hehehe

  10. Rachel May 3, 2012 at 7:27 pm Reply

    Thanks for sharing this great reminder! I think it’s fantastic that u are able to spend couple time with hb even when Sophie is so young, really makes me reflect about those years when Kyle was her age…I spent little time with hb :(((. I know, me bad! But things are changing since last year, hb and I have started going out on couple dates too…and it really makes a lot of difference for a family to have parents who have a loving relationship 😛

    • Susan May 7, 2012 at 2:09 am Reply

      That’s great to hear. Sometimes, it’s so easy to let the busyness get to us. But what matters is to act on it and not let the relationship go stale. Here’s to more dates 🙂

  11. Summer May 4, 2012 at 1:15 am Reply

    Great read! Yes agree, couple time is so precious and much needed to keep the sparks alive. Alas staying overseas doesn’t give us much option when it’s either you or me who has to look after the kiddo. Still, we try to catch some late night movie (on DVD) when she is asleep and somehow, being bonded here like that, knowing that each other is indispensable, makes us feel very much in love. =)

  12. qiu xian May 4, 2012 at 9:26 am Reply

    Can I be honest and say that I’m slacking in this area? Heehee.. the husband always tells me I don’t spend enough time with him at home. Each time I reach home, its always cleaning, washing up, packing or doing something. And then the only time I stop, it’s when I put the kid and myself to sleep, LOL. It really takes GREAT effort to maintain the courtship alive in a marriage. And I’m ashamed to say my parents are doing a better job than we are haha.. but I shall try! Hopefully to catch a movie with the husband this weekend! 🙂

  13. SengkangBabies May 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm Reply

    Go for more Dates when both are young 🙂
    For me, if we have 20min alone, we are already contented haha.

    • Susan May 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm Reply

      I always joke with hubby that when Sophie is older, we’ll pack her for a school camp and then go to Europe for 2nd honeymoon 🙂

  14. Lisa May 7, 2012 at 5:20 am Reply

    Great reminder! Our son is 20 months and only now have we made a commitment to have a date at least once a month! It’s so important to make time for each other because when our relationship suffers, our son suffers too

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