Date with Dad

Last Sunday, I received an interesting brochure at church. It was a brochure titled “Date with Dad” ,which is an initiative by Focus on the Family.

Do you know that research shows that girls with involved fathers are more likely to have healthier and  confident romantic relationships in their adolescence and adulthood? And the way that she views herself is also influenced by how her dad thinks of her?

As a daughter, I fully agree. Growing up,  I didn’t have a close relationship with my dad and some of the negative things he said many years ago still stings. As a typical Chinese man, he spent a lot of time away while pursuing his career and he’s not the kind that speaks much. They say that fathers are a daughter’s first love and that girls form ideas about what they want in a partner using their dads as a benchmark. So while some end up with a spouse who bears similarity to their dads, I would say that Alexis is probably very different from my dad.

And perhaps that’s why I always encourage Alexis to spend more one on one time with Sophie. To always be affirming, speak kindly and show her with lots of love and affection.

I’m very blessed that Alexis has always played a very active parenting role even before Sophie was born as he read about about each stage of my pregnancy and accompanying me for every gyne visit so that he could see Sophie from the ultrasound. Right from her birth, he’s was very hands on from diapering her, to bathing her, feeding her, playing with her. In fact, he was the one who managed to soothe her incessant crying when she was colicky hence I nicknamed him my baby whisperer.

Now that Sophie is older, he likes to take her out to the park to fly kite, to playground and teach her how to ride her strider.  In fact, they’ve gone out together a couple of times without me! So it’s without a doubt that Sophie adores her daddy and even gave him a very affectionate nick name, 豆豆.

While Sophie is still too young to attend this Date for Dad tea session, I encourage Alexis to take her out more often so that Sophie will always have precious memories of the times she’s spent with Daddy O.

For those with daughters between the age of 10-18 years old, you may want to check out this event at the Focus on the Family website, here. There is a video of the event last year, and it was so touching, it made me tear.

I’m glad that as a nation, dads are encouraged to play a more active role in the family. With the announcement of a “Better Fathering Index”, it will also send a message that dads should be more involved in the raising of a family especially with more dual income families.

To the dads out there, you have a very special God-given role to play, so father with purpose and don’t be afraid to demonstrate your fatherly love especially to your daughters. And for the wives, let’s encourage our man to be the best father they can be.



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  2. lyn January 9, 2013 at 12:52 pm Reply

    totally agree. I am very close to my dad and it’s really helped me in relationships. He’s still the best grandpapa ever, and I’m very blessed that my hubby is a very involved dad, though working hours in Singapore are terrible.

    • Susan January 9, 2013 at 12:54 pm Reply

      How blessed. Being parents in a face paced society is certainly not easy. Between the us, I’m the one with longer working hours as work never ends. So thankful that we have hubbies who wants to be present in our child’s growing up years.

  3. Elisa January 9, 2013 at 2:11 pm Reply

    Lovely. Alexis is very blessed indeed. Glad you found our heavenly Father 🙂

    • Susan January 9, 2013 at 9:43 pm Reply

      I’m blessed as his wife too 🙂

  4. Dominique goh January 9, 2013 at 2:13 pm Reply

    Great to read that sophie has such an active father who is involved in her childhood. Thanks for linking up this week.

    • Susan January 9, 2013 at 9:44 pm Reply

      I’m very thankful for that too, Dominique.

  5. Willyn January 9, 2013 at 6:36 pm Reply

    So inspiring, glad you had Alexis who never failed to be as sophie’s bestfriend and father..

  6. Gloria January 14, 2013 at 12:23 pm Reply

    Thanks for featuring Date with Dad, Susan! It’s true, really – spending time with Dad is really important, as is Mum’s encouragement to get Dad to father intentionally. Am heartened to hear how your husband is such a hands-on Dad. Sophie is truly blessed to have both of you as parents.

    Wishing you a wonderful week ahead with your family 🙂

    • Susan January 16, 2013 at 12:55 am Reply

      Thanks Gloria. And thanks for this wonderful initiative to get Dads to bond with their little princess too.

  7. lisacng @ January 15, 2013 at 10:09 am Reply

    I also grew up an emotionally-distant father and I can certainly see how his past negativity still affects me now. We don’t have a daughter but I certainly see my husband have a closer relationship with our son that is closer than any relationship we had with our own dads. Love that our husbands are such great hands-on dads! Love all the photos you have of Alexis and Sophie. I’m sure Sophie will grow up remembering those special moments with him.

    • Susan January 16, 2013 at 12:58 am Reply

      Yes cheers to the modern dads who take an equal role in actively raising their kids. I’m so thankful that hubby has a special bond to Sophie and of course he’s rewarded too with a close relationship with her which I hope will continue into her adulthood.

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